I'd just like to mention that my birthday went EXACTLY as I planned it. Everyone I expected to have there was there, and I wasn't expecting the people who ditched to show up anyway! I finally planned a birthday properly...and I wasn't disappointed when I got ditched this year. I mean, what kind of friends ditch you on your birthday anyway? The kind I don't need. I think my birthday would have been less fun if I hadn't been ditched by those people. You know, the people who are just no fun to be with...they always ruin plans, get all pissy over stupid stuff that's probably their fault, and do that "I'm not getting enough attention so I'll be moody" deal when it's YOUR birthday. I can do without that, thanks.

Don't get me wrong, some of the people who ditched on my birthday are cool, they actually had other stuff to do, or were sick or something. That's okay. It's those other ones, the ones that could have been there but decided not to. That's okay too...they would have used your birthday as a time to show how cool they are.

Oh...sorry to get sidetracked but I have to mention...what kind of people try to put down their friends and pass it off as "good clean fun"? You know what I'm talking about, right? Those people who constantly deal out the "I can't picture it" and "That's nice" comments over stuff YOU like, then rag on you for your clothes or something. Who does that? What purpose does it serve to put down your friends? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it help your public image to say hurtful things to friends? Doubt it...but if it does help in YOUR circle of friends, I'm glad I'm not a part of it. Think about it...friends are people you have fun with, cry to, talk to, and generally enjoy their company. When a "friend" doesn't fit any of those, are they still a friend.

No.

I'm not into calling people up when I don't enjoy talking to them. I'm not into public whippings on my web page, or in e-mails to anyone but my boyfriend. I just don't do it. There's no point. Why should I call someone who upsets me? Why should I give them reason to call me over something I broadcast over the internet. I'm not mentioning names in any of this entry...notice? I'm giving a general rundown of what I thought this weekend. I was angry and bitter and I even ended up crying (not on my birthday, I had a happy birthday). But that didn't make it here. And it won't. My little bitch-out is enough. There's enough bitterness and name calling on the internet without me adding any.

I admit, I was bitter and angry. The first draft of this entry was nothing but name calling. But I never typed it. I just screamed and ranted into a tape recorder until I felt better, then broke the tape and chucked it. Then I typed this entry. I don't need the whole world to know who I'm bitching out on this page, and yes, I suppose this is a bitch out. You know who you are, you know why I'm mad at you, and you know that it's too late now. Sorry, but it's too true. I had a friend that really sucked, that's obvious, and anyone who knows me knows who it is. Here's the deal...you were a bad friend to me, and I'm not letting you use me as the fall-back friend anymore. Have a nice life!

And just to remind the world...I hold grudges. I forgive WAY too much for a long time, then I wise up and stop. If I'm mad enough to stop speaking to someone, they did a lot. If I'm not speaking to you, you did something really nasty to me. I don't need you. Friends aren't supposed to be like that. Friendship is a two way constant thing, not something to do when your boyfriend is busy.

Anyone who disagrees, write me.