July 21, 1997 -- Okay, round three of this same damned background. I can't help it, I've lost all drive for the old style of my page...the new page is beautiful, I'm proud. But it's still on my hard drive. And it's going to be there until at least Friday...I'm going to the Binghamton orientation tomorrow.

I feel orientation is dumb, but it's a good way to meet people. All we do it get the same tired speeches from old people in cold rooms. That's it. And I don't get one thing. They aren't offering transfer students on-campus housing, yet they insist we stay in the dorms for a night. Is that some sick joke? A tease they couldn't resist? I wonder. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. My point is that I'm less tollerant of bullshit...I got plenty at Hofstra (Where 3.0 is the average GPA AND blood alcohol level!!!). I won't deal with Binghamton if they try to dick me over with classes. I'm prepared to harm any glorified guidance counselor who says I need to take Calc 2 again...or tries to make me take more languages. Someone reads this....warn them that I have a full-on bitch-out with their name on it if I so much as smell beer on the course books.

;)

Okay...enough of that...I've vented plenty of the steam that I build up. The rest keeps me going. And I've got a bit of going to do before I've got a place at Binghamton, classes, and a meal plan. Just a bit. Eh, enough Binghamton...I've got the next three days to worry about it non-stop. I'll just listen to my new cds and think tonight.

What I REALLY wanted to talk about is that lovey-dovey feeling. That one when you get all light in your chest when you think of the guy or gal you're with. I had been missing that lately. Brian's been a little on edge about school, and work, and guitar, and the alignment of the moons of Jupiter....and well...everything. And since 80% of his waking hours are spent near me, I get to experience the full range and magnitude of his moodiness. But the past week he's been getting less moody. Two days ago I saw no moodiness. But I was too shocked to really believe it yet. Then yesterday he took me out to dinner and again...no moodiness.. None. Then today he stopped by my job just to say hi. With a big smile. He gave me a little backrub without any hints at all. When I went by his house after work he greeted me with a huge smile...and he played with his little sister a while. When we left he let her stay in his room playing with the Playstation (She loves Tomb Raider...she's crazy for Lara!). He went with me to the supermarket, no complaints. He watched the movie I wanted to watch and enjoyed it...even though all the dialogue is in Japanese and we read subtitles. He even suggested watching more of them another day.

My reaction usually would be to get a bat and stand over him shouting "Who are you and where's my psychotically depressed boyfriend!", but I had a feeling. That light feeling in my chest. All I could do was flop my tired self on the couch and say "I'm tired." with a big cheesy grin on my face. All I could do was grin at him. It just felt so good to have that feeling again, like everything was going right again. It was such a relief to see him acting happy again that I felt tired. I think I may nap for a year. Just so I can dream about that cute smile on his face. Ah...that light lovey feeling is so relaxing!!!