Scroll down....
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Make a wish....
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Seriously, make a wish.....
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No, I MEAN it, asshole, make a wish!!!!
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All right, you fuckin' chatch. If you don't make a fuckin' wish right fuckin' now I'm gonna blow your fuckin' brains out!!!!!
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Didja make a wish? -
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Okay! Now, because you scrolled all the way down and were exposed to the radiation from all of those hyphens ("-"), the radiation waves will affect the psychic chemicals in your mind and make your wish come true!

Or maybe it'll just give you cancer. Speaking of which...

---

This letter was composed by a little boy in Balaklavia who is dying from lung cancer due to second hand smoke and drunk driving. Please forward this letter to as many people as you can, so that this little starving boy with no arms can get one last wish... To annoy as many people as possible with e-mail. Please, for every time this mail gets sent, 3 cents will be donated to the Save-The-Starving-Little-Balaklavian-Boy-With-No-Arms Fund. Really. There is no realistic way that all the mails can be counted, but hey, if you don't send this anyway, you're selfish and you're going straight to hell. Or maybe you'll come back in YOUR next life as a little Balaklavian boy with no arms.

Now scroll down again....
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I A
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I A
I A
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BE
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YO U
I AM STANDING BEHIND Y OU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIN D YOU
I AM STANDING BEHI ND YOU
I AM STANDING BEH IND YOU
I AM STANDING BE HIND YOU
I AM STANDING B EHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDIN G BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDI NG BEHIND YOU
I AM STAND ING BEHIND YOU
I AM STAN DING BEHIND YOU
I AM STA NDING BEHIND YOU
I AM ST ANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM S TANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I A M STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YO U
I AM STANDING BEHIND Y OU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIN D YOU
I AM STANDING BEHI ND YOU
I AM STANDING BEH IND YOU
I AM STANDING BE HIND YOU
I AM STANDING B EHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDIN G BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDI NG BEHIND YOU
I AM STAND ING BEHIND YOU
I AM STAN DING BEHIND YOU
I AM STA NDING BEHIND YOU
I AM ST ANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM S TANDING BEHIND YOU
I AM STANDING BEHIND
YOU
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I HAVE
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I HAVE A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I H A V E A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A G
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
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I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GU
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GU N
I HAVE A GUN
I HAVE A GN
I HAVE A N
I HAVE AN
I HAVE N
I HAVEN
I HAVN
I HAN
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IN
NOW
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NOW
NOW
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALL DIE
NOW YOU SHALLD I E
NOW YOU SHALLD I E
NOW YOU SHALLD I E
NOW YOU SHALLD I E
NOW YOU SHALLD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHALD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SHAD I E
NOW YOU SH D I E
NOW YOU S D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW YOU D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
NOW D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
D I E
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d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
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d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
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d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d = \/''''''(x1+x2)^2 - (y1+y2)^2
d
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Dee
Dee
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Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
Dee, the sassy little sister on "What's Happening"
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D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D
This episode was brought to you by the letter D

Speaking of Sesame Street, here's the REAL way they have sex on Sesame Street. Bert and Ernie were walking along the street one day, holding hands and singing a song about words that start with the letter D. All of a sudden, they run into Big Bird and Grover, who are playing paddycake with their new friend, the Little Starving Balaklavian Boy With No Arms. Bert runs to Grover and says, "Hey, Grover, who's your new friend?" And then Grover responds, "I don't care. Let's have some wild, passionate, monkey-sex." And so porno-flick music starts playing over the nursery rhymes, and the starving Balaklavian boy begins to attempt to undress. Then Ernie says, "Wait! Why in the world are we even thinking of doing this! This is a children's show! How utterly disgusting!" And Big Bird turns to him and says, "Well, Ernie, that's because of a very special kind of person. He's called the Net-Pervert. He has nothing better to do with his time and with his white crusted hands so he sits down at his porno-ridden computer and, after he finishes yet another bout of masturbation, composes a disgusting, degrading story about the childhood shows that we all know and love." "Hey," said the armless Balaklavian boy. "Disgusting and Degrading both start with D!"

Send this letter to as many people as you can.
If you send it to...
1 person -- 1 person will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
5 people -- 5 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
10 people -- 10 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
15 people -- 15 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
20 people -- 20 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
30 people -- 30 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
35 people -- 35 people will be pissed at you for sending another dumb chain letter
40 people -- Your crush will ask you out on a date.
41 people -- Your crush will ask you to have sex with him/her on Sesame Street.
43 people -- Your crush will die, and be replaced with a new, better looking crush.
44 1/2 people -- Your crush will crush you with a huge boulder, and you'll get sick twisted jollies out of it.
47 people -- Your crush will mutate and grow an extra arm, which he/she will use to perform bizarre sex acts on you.

You MUST send at least 300 copies of this letter. If you don't an evil curse will be put on you.

For instance, John Fargo of Fargo, PA deleted this mail as soon as he got it. Then he got up, called a friend, and went to a movie, because he has a life.

Or how about Lenore Poe, of Tromaville, who deleted this mail when she got it? She got into her car... and drove to work.

Or take poor Mr. Arnold Cartman, who accidentally only sent part of this letter to his crush. He died. So did his crush. Of course, that was because of all of the STDs. (They worked on Sesame Street.)

Please send this letter to all your loser hacker friends. The little Balaklavian boy with no arms needs your help.

Remember, as the Spice Girls once said, "I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ah." Think about it.

What is a true friend?
Here's a poem I wrote about being a friend. It's called, "Being a Friend."

"Being a Friend"
A friend is someone you can count on
A friend is someone who loves you all the time
A friend is someone who loves you for who you are
A friend is someone who loves you even though you're disgustingly ugly
A friend is someone who smokes crack with you
A friend is someone who sends you countless stupid chain e-mails
A friend is someone who tells you if you smell like shit
A friend is someone who tells all your other friends you smell like shit
A friend is someone who always holds on to you, even after the restraining order
A friend is a person to douse in marshmallow fluff and then lick clean
A friend is someone who comes to your house while you are out and cleans up for you, then picks up her check and leaves, and doesn't speak much English

Oh, wait, that's a cleaning lady

A friend is someone who pays for you cleaning lady
A friend is someone who pays for your dominatrix
A friend is someone who is a cleaning lady and a dominatrix on weekends
A friend is someone who helps you kill starving Balaklavian boys
A friend is someone who helps you devour the remains of your victims
So next time you go drunk driving with a friend, remember that chain mail he sent you about how a friend should never let his/her friend drive drunk.
And remember how many copies he/she sent you
And when you crash into a telephone pole, aim so that it hits the passenger side

I hope you liked the poem! Now send this to as many Balaklavian boys that you are friends with, so that they don't drive drunk and so that if they do, you won't have to face their ugly crack-whore moms, because you'll have escaped to Cuba with 5 kilos and a gat.
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
This is the shining smiley-face Hawaiian totem of love. If you send it to 5 people within the next 3 minutes, you will get mad honeys. If you accidentally send it to 6 people instead, you will die instantly.

Good Luck! :)