March 22, 1998 -- So, my last day at home almost until summer. I had a lovely break. I didn't accomplish anything but I feel ready to face the rest of the semester.

That'll last long. Just like my non-stop journal writing. Sure.

I can almost SEE my determination slipping away as a pile more and more on the stack of "stuff I have to do this week". It'll all get done. It always does. But I'll be in TEARS by Friday. Thank god Kristen got a blender.

Hmmm...how do I go about thanking God, gods or goddesses for that blender. The only Catholic way I can think of right now is praying and fasting, but I'm too thin to fast and too incoherent to pray. Wiccan stuff seems to involve knives and candles and you can imagine what I'd do with that.

"KRISTEN!!! HELP!!!! I'M BLEEDING AND MY BAND-AIDS CAUGHT ON FIRE!!!"

I'll find some way to thank whatever great deity blessed us with this blender. It may involve Kahlua. And ice cream. Trust me, the ceremony will be great.

In all seriousness, I'm just plain bad at religion. I'm awful at it. I used to be dragged off to church every week with my mother and sister. It bored me to tears several times. Now that I'm all grown up and a big person, Mom doesn't force me to go to church with her. This morning she didn't even ASK. She wrote out her weekly offering check, stuffed it in the pretty little envelope and was on her way out the door. I sat up from my pudding cup to say bye.

Me: Hey Mom!
Mom: Yes?
Me: Say Hi to God for me.

She didn't say anything. She just grinned, shook her head, and left. I think she's resigned herself to the fact that I'm going to hell and there isn't much she can do for me.




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