It's dark, I'm warm, I'm drowsy. School books are strewn across the floor, right where they ended up after my violent revolt against finals. An Anne Rice vampire novel has settled down into the folds of the sheet like a kitten napping beside me. Sarah McLachlan croons and the remnants of an incense stick glow softly as the ash drops off with light pattering sound. Everything is perfect for sleep. Except I'm hungry. Exceptionally hungry. Had I missed dinner? Probably. All sense of physical need vanished in front of that damned flickering monitor. It was trying to starve me now, after it had exhausted me.

One socked foot ventures out to the chilly floor. The other is tangled in the sheets and pillows. It make it to the floor as few moments later, sans sock. Cold carpet is still cold, the sock would have been welcomed. But I ignored the chill that this trip was setting into my toes. Pat-plop, pat-plop. The sound almost made me laugh. Where had that sock gotten to? There's probably a dozen of them there now, where ever it had gotten to. My stomach growled at me to focus on the task at hand.

The socked foot made it to the kitchen floor first, but when the bare skin of the other foot followed I grimaced. Pat-stick, pat-stick. Yuck. Chilly, gruesome, sticky. This trip was starting to get fun. Grumble, grumble.

The door of the fridge opens with a swish and I peered in. Milk, parmesan cheese, a loaf of stale bread, and a birthday cake. Not so much as a quick pudding cup or some yogurt to stop the growling for long enough to let sleep take over. Grumble, grumble. The dishwasher hummed as I fished through a cabinet which held four cans of tuna, Tuna Helper, and some meat marinade. At least I was set for dinner tomorrow. Everything is too much work. Didn't I have raisins? Crackers? Wasn't there a cookie jar on this counter yesterday?

A box of croutons laughed at me as I backed away from the open cabinets in defeat. Everything else was just plates. Am I hungry enough to bother getting dressed for a short drive to Wegman's for some quick food, like Lunchables, yogurt, hell I'd settle for a multivitamin and some Cheese Wiz at this point. Just don't make me cook!

The freezer held out a box of waffles but they were freezer burned beyond recognition. I surrendered them to the trash with a sigh. I bit my thumbnail and thought. Is it too late to become a cannibal? No, but it was too much effort. That was harder than the Tuna Helper. I poured some milk, mixed in some chocolate, and sat down in the sticky, cold metal kitchen chair to ponder.

Wait! There was a box of cereal in the cabinet, wasn't there! I dropped to my knees in front of the open cabinet to reach to the back and Joy! That leprechaun bastard was saving me from cooking! I may have to reconsider all the terrible things I said about his mother. Pinks hearts, yellow stars, and purple horseshoes tumbled into the bowl. I grinned triumphantly as I opened the utensil drawer. No spoons.

Can I eat this with a fork? Will that serving spoon fit in my mouth? Wait! The dishwasher is clean! It's got to chocked full of shiny little metal spoons, all of them fresh and clean and warm! I tugged on the dishwasher door and it opened with a wet plop and a puff of lemon-fresh steam. Spoons! I grabbed one shiny metal gadget and proceeded to shovel food into my mouth. Ah, this is joy. To find food almost preparing itself for me at 3 am. I was tempted to write a thank you note to General Mills.

As I spooned the final squishy bits of sugar coated wheat into my mouth, I sighed. I dropped the dishes into the sink with a clang. Stick-pat, Stick-pat, plop-pat, plop-pat back to my room and the warm soft bed. As I snuggled back to sleep I smiled at the feeling of not being hungry anymore. The warm blankets felt lovely gathered up and over my head for a few hours of whatever it is that makes my hair look so odd when I get up.

Then I remembered I had to brush my teeth.