August 13, 1998

Everyone say welcome back!

I know, I didn't say where I went. Or even that I had gone anywhere. But I went to Binghamton for the evening, and got back last night just before 1am. It was cool.

Why? Oh, fine. I drove all the way upstate with a car full of Brian's heavy-ass (that's a technical term) shit...in the dark...in the middle of the night...alone...all the way up to the least interesting town in the entire freakin' state. And I had the best time I've had in weeks.

The drive up was uneventful. I got all the way to exit 46B on I-80, got a strawberry soda and played one humilitating game of Marvel versus X-Men in which I witnessed for the first time how badly Omega Red can flay my sorry Capcom playin' ass. But I got up to the fourth round on one quarter...not bad for me, considering I never play in the arcade.

But anyway...after that I went back to the car. Hopped into the car and was attacked by Brian's printer which fell on me from the passenger seat. I swore loudly, put it back, and hopped back on I-80. Couldn't find anything that wasn't whiney country music about some guy's dog so I put in a tape.

That's when the tape deck broke.

So I'm driving a car full of Brian's heavy-ass shit...in the dark...in the middle of the night...alone...all the way up to the least interesting town in the entire freakin' state...listening to whiney country music about some guy's dog.

Needless to say, I drove much faster after that.

I got to Binghamton at 2am and let myself in...which wasn't hard since the door wasn't deadbolted for some reason. Then I tried to turn on the lights...clickclick. Still dark. Damn.

Then I got nervous.

I guess I'll be using that assasain degree from Cornell sooner than expected. I held my keys the way they tell women to do in dark parking lots (to piss off rapists, y'know) and went in. I tried the kitchen light. That too was burned out. Hall light too. The light that finally went on was my bedroom light. Then I turned on the bathroom light to see into Kristen/Brian's room. Checked all the closets, counters, cabinets and such and decided I could save my skills for another time. The only thing attacking me in this apartment was the spiders, and that was to be expected.

So I called home and told my mom I was safe.

Then I started bringing Brian's heavy-ass shit in from the car...in the dark...in the middle of the night...alone. Boy am I glad I'm stronger than I look, because we packed some heavy-ass shit into that little car. His printer, his cd-player, his tape deck, two big speakers and the center channel one, four boxes of cds, videos, and guitar magazines, two guitars, and...best of all! His 75 pound amp.

All the little stuff was pretty easy to get in. I just lugged it in one box at a time down the stairs, in the door, and back into his room. The amp was fun. First, I had to get it out of the trunk of the car. I wasn't worried because I had made Brian's let me put it IN the car so I could be sure I'd be able to get it out. But that was before I drove 217 miles and carried the other 200 pounds of crap in. I was dripping. I was disgusting. But I lugged that big ass amp out of my trunk with little if any bother.

This is where I mention that it was 3:40am.

Not only did I have to get this heavy-ass amp down the stairs, but I had to do it QUIETLY. I picked it up (which should impress you all to no end because I only weigh 120 pounds and I'm 5' 6") and carried it all the way over to the steps of apartment before I put it down with a proud, manly grunt. Then I swung the door open and (this is where it gets pretty) propped it open with my ass.

With my ass holding the door open I heaved the amp into the doorway using more willpower and determination than anything else...and got it through the door.

There are six stairs leading down to my apartment. Six.

It took me ten minutes to leverage it down all the steps, because I was freakin' tired at this point. I wasn't picking that heavy-ass shit back up if I could help it at all. One step at a time with me moving the amp a teeny bit at a time until I could lower it to the next step. Once I got it to the landing I pushed the damned thing all the way across my apartment into his room and put it against the end of the bed.

Then I went back out to the car for my one little box filled with towels and feminine products. I grabbed the handle of the box, pulled it straight up...

...and pulled a muscle in my shoulder because I was at a funny angle.

I took two extra strength Pamprin and cooled off a little, then I used Scrubbing Bubbles to kill the spider in my bathtub. I sprayed some bleach stuff into the toilet and covered all the metal with cleaner. Then I set to cleaning up Brian's room so all the stuff would be neat. Piled up the Ikea shelves out of the way in the closet, stuck the two big speakers on top of them and the center speaker on top of that. I put two boxes of stuff that was already in the room on the shelves at the top of the closet along with his shoes. I put the plastic drawers next to the bed which I had dressed and even put the dust ruffle on (which involves pulling the mattress off the box spring for those uncultured folks out there). I put the cd spinner on top of the plastic drawers, tossed the box for the amp into the closet with the cd player and tape deck on top, put both guitars between the two stacks in the closet and closed the whole damned thing up. I made everything else look pretty neat and left the room.

The bathroom was clean by then so I sprayed the shower and sink clean. I made a list of all the stuff I should buy at Wegman's the next day before I left. Toilet paper, tissues, lightbulbs...etc. Then I stripped naked and went to sleep.

I woke up feeling like I had a hang-over. Urg. But I got up, showered, then...covered in blue fuzz from my new towels, came to the realization that I hadn't brought a change of clothes with me. Fresh undies and a bra, yes. Shirt or pants? No.

I have to wear the clothes I spent all night sweating my ass off in? Eeeeww! So I threw on my pants and a Tekken 2 shirt I had left in the closet, motored on over to campus, bought a cute little Binghamton University shirt, and left happy. Then went to Wegman's, got lightbulbs, tissues, an air freshener, and a comic book which I read while I ate at Long John Silver's. Then I went to Staples and found Brian's ex-roomie, Stone. Stone said "Hey, I'm having lunch at 5:30...wanna go?" I said yes, then went home, changed every lightbulb in the apartment, and changed clothes.

At 5:30 I met with Stone and we got his man Scott. The three of us had a lovely lunch at Buger King. Then we dropped Stone back at work and Scott and I spent an hour and a half looking through the Oakdale Mall. It was lovely. I found a Key: The Metal Idol shirt with the Japanese letters upside down. I also got a Strawberry Shortcake shirt that says "Cutie pie" on it. Gosh, I know I am...

I got Brian a tie with fish on it. It's beautiful.

And then I headed back to Baldwin. The tape deck started to work again so I was happy. I also had vowed to beat Omega Red this time. I stopped at 46B again, which is where I always stop because it almost exactly halfway. I played the game again...this time while being oogled by some cute trucker guys. They were about my age and must have been surprised to see a girl at all. Boy, did they stare! I think it was because my belly was showing (the Binghamton top is a crop top!) and I have a very nice belly, and an adorable belly button. But I ignored them because I'm actually in love with Brian, as crazy as I may be because he didn't buy me chocolate. Instead, I was very proud of myself when I absolutely WHUPPED the computer. Then I barely beat Omega Red, but I did beat it. Then I got my ass kicked by Sakura. Darn.

The rest of the drive home was uneventful. I had a lovely time.

And now, a picture that only a select few will appreciate:

You may recognize the one on the right.