You think YOU have problems making friends? Right. Here in Binghamton you could read "How to Make Friends and Influence People" cover to cover. You could wear a shirt that says "I Give Good Karma" to a bar called "Pulling Muscles With Michelle" [see note at bottom of entry]. You could have a keg on the back of a bicycle built for two. Nothing would help.

Because of the Social Dampening Field.

Installed by the town founders so there could eventually be a good state school where no one makes eye contact on the walkways and everyone stays in their room and studies, the Social Dampening Field is a truly remarkable construction. Disguised as a Sewage Treatment plant, the Social Dampening Field emits a powerful "nasty-ass smell" year round to the surrounding area. The extent of it's boundaries is undetermined, but the smell has been encountered as far as 15 miles from the SDF. But boundaries are a small concern to the SDF, as the "nasty-ass smell" leave a filmy residue on all substances and once contact is made with the skin, eyes, or mucus membranes, it's all over. You may feel cranky and prone to hermit-like actions. You may never want to leave your house again, but even if you should -- meeting friendly people will be difficult as avoiding the "nasty-ass smell" is almost impossible in Binghamton. Pray you have siblings at a far away school, and visit them frequently...making sure to shower as soon as you get there so you won't hate all their friends and never want to do anything.

*Ahem*

So Brian got a few more DVDs yesterday. Star Trek First Contact is among them. He was watching the trailers when I came in. Then he watched a bit of the movie and we chatted. Suddenly, there was a strange look in his eyes.

"I forgot to turn on the Dolby [Pro-SuperSonicUltraMega PoundingSounds and BigExplosions] controls!" He promptly paused the movie and switched into a control screen. From there he flipped to the "sound options" menu and I got to read a few selections.

French
Spanish
English for the Hearing Impaired

"English for the hearing impaired? What is that...subtitles or a whole different fillming of the movie where all the characters shout at each other?" I asked.

"DATA!"
"YES, CAPTAIN!"
"IT'S THE BORG, DATA!"
"THIS IS TRUE, CAPTAIN!"
"WHAT?"
"I SAID 'THIS IS TRUE, CAPTAIN!'"
"OH. GOOD, DATA!"

Brian found me amusing. Then I went back to work on 'stuff'. Y'know...the boring stuff I'm always doing but I never want to talk about because I write in this journal to avoid it most of the time. But today it all changes...I had to write a Java program. A POP3 mail client. Like Eudora only really simple. And it works. And I'm not ashamed of it.

If you have the JDK 1.1 or higher, you're welcome to see how it looks...I'm proud. It's a .zip file but it's very small. I only made it a .zip file because I dunno how to make java program go on a web page yet, and I only used this thingy on my computer, and the .class file kept loading up and goind "Erk!". Don't try it on a Mac...I can't be held responsible for what it may do. Then again...try it on a Mac, and let me know what happens. Just don't hold me responsible for it if it's bad.

And don't steal it to call your own. I made it, it isn't WORTH stealing to call your own. Give me SOME credit here!

*Sigh* -- Back to work, I'm afraid.

[note] "Pulling Muscles With Michelle" is what I always thought they were saying in 'that song'. "Pulling Mussles From The Shell" is what they are REALLY saying. Whoever sings that song needs to enunciate better, although I did have a few good laughs about it. I always thought it would be a good name for a sleazy bar or a porno.