I'm not dead....and it's the most astonishing thing that's happened all week.

But Kathy, why on earth would you be dead?

Well, how about I start with my plans for this weekend.

The original plan was to drive up to Geneseo and get Ann and her boyfriend on Wednesday, and drive back to Binghamton on Thursday after Ann's classes. Then I would go to my classes on Friday and we would leave for Long Island afterwards. We would go to Megan's party Friday night, and leave Sunday to go all the way back up to Geneseo, and I would get back to Binghamton Sunday night.

For a little perspective, if you drive fast Geneseo is three hours from Binghamton, and Long Island is four hours from Binghamton. That means that while I'd be spreading the driving out on the way down, I'd spend ten hours in the car on the way back up.

Kathy...you FOOL!

But wait...there's more....

I was too sick on Wednesday to leave. I wanted nothing more than to curl up and peacefully chew through my own wrists and die. I had been feeling that same way since last Friday. I was not happy. So I figured I'd drive up to Geneseo and get Ann Thursday, and make her drive me back down to Binghamton while I slept in the car. Then we'd drive to Long Island on Friday and follow the rest of the crazy plan. The only bonus was I wouldn't sleep on the floor of her dorm room at all.

Good plan, right?

Thursday morning it snowed. A lot. Not so much in Binghamton but quite a bit in the Geneseo area.

I left anyway, I could be in and out without a big hassle...the weather reports said it was slowing down.

Um...HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

I got on the road and I should have turned around at Elmira and told Ann to forget it. Snow, and lots of it. I hate snow. I got all the way up to Livingston county before I turned on the radio. Rt 390. Snow Emergency, get off the roads, don't drive...etc.

I spun out 9 miles from Geneseo. I was going about 45-50 miles per hour at the time because the roads had been pretty clear right before then. I hardly saw the snow I hit. The tires started to slip and I corrected, and thought I'd be okay for a moment. Then the car slipped the other way. Pretty soon I was fishtailing all over and when the back end of the car came up clockwise, I knew I was in trouble. The car did a rotation and a half and went ass-end first off the road into a small ditch. I had enough time to think "Oh shit, this is going to hurt." and right before impact the phrase "Go limp" crossed my mind.

I don't recall actually going limp. I believe I had a good firm grip on the steering wheel the entire time. I closed my eyes. There was no crunch of metal, there was no painful tearing of flesh and bone, there was no sound of breaking glass, the airbag didn't come out, and I didn't hurt.

I opened one eye and actually said aloud "Holy shit...I'm not dead, am I?".

Swift, Kathy, really really swift. No, you're not dead.

But I was in a ditch facing the road. My car was buried in what I considered to be an impressive amount of snow. Up and over the tires on the driver's side, and almost to the windows on the passenger side. I turned off the car and waited for my head to stop spinning before I started to pull on my jacket to survey the damage. I missed one of those little metal mile markers by a foot and a half. I went in right before a whole bunch of bushes and deeper ditches. I was standing knee deep in snow where the car had plowed out trails through the snow. I guesses 50 yards of trails through the snow, in a very impressive curve.

I wasn't even completely out of the car when someone pulled up to see if I was okay. Two very nice women who gave me a ride all the way to Geneseo because I most obviously was not getting my tiny Tupperware car out of that ditch without a tow truck. The sun was almost completely gone and I wasn't turning down a ride in THAT weather. They drove me right to Ann's dorm. I thanked them at least a dozen times.

I spent the first half of the night calling AAA, blowing my nose, and telling my parents I wasn't dead. The second half of the night, my sister managed to get me a posse of men who were willing to help me unstick my car. Four guys and I piled into a Neon with implements of destruction and went to save my car.

We dug it out, but the headlights killed the battery in ten minutes and we couldn't start it to get it out, even if it hadn't been stuck. AAA couldn't get anyone out there until the snow emergency was lifted, so I spent the night in the dorm. I missed my Friday classes, and at 1:30 on Friday afternoon, my parents decided they would come up and save me.

They drove 7 hours to Geneseo because my car was in a ditch and I couldn't get it back.

When they got up to Geneseo the car had been towed out. I called around and found out where it was, but I couldn't get it until the morning, so I spent Friday night with my parents in a hotel. I was still very very sick. Comtrex just wasn't cutting it anymore. And I hate to admit it, but Comtrex kicks NyQuil's pansy ass.

So my parents got my car and all it needed was a jump.

There wasn't so much as a scratch on it. I need to go to the chiropractor, but the damned car is perfect. It even looks CLEAN. I was shocked. Not displeased...don't think that...but I was shocked.

Got back to Binghamton in the snow and cold nasty weather with my parents. I took turns riding with Mom in Squirt and Dad in the van. I was very sick and used a lot of tissues. But I used GOOD tissues so my nose is just now starting to get sore a week after I started this damned cold. My parents stole my bed a night, and left Sunday morning.

I sat around and complained about being sick.

I can't believe I didn't die. I got so lucky. I was even amazed I had been so well prepared. I usually wear a leather jacket. I love my leather jacket, but it's tough to fit some of my large sweaters under. So I pulled out my Land's End Thinsulate fluffy jacket, and a hat and gloves. I threw the emergency kit in the car. I found the cell phone and made sure it was having a functional day. I was prepared to go off the road and walk 9 miles to Geneseo in the freezing snow.

Not that I would have, but I could have.

I got so lucky.

And I don't have pink eye. My contact got torn. It took me two days to realize.