Left On Red

.....................

Beautiful graphics by Dan!
He's such a sweetie!

Mail Me!


11/16/1999
Advice
<< [MAIN] >>

.....................

I have some good advice for all of you.

  • Take out your contacts BEFORE you eat the buffalo wings, the hot sauce gets under your nails and burns like a fucker if you get it in your eyes. No matter how well you washed up.

  • Don't taunt mimes. It's getting really old. They know what they're doing and you can't stop them. Pick on the Backstreet Boys instead. I mean, have you SEEN their hair?

  • In November, close the window before you take a shower. It may be a fine temperature when you're dry and clothed, but it's going to be freezing when you come back wet and naked.

  • Don't sit on a cell phone. It hurts.

  • Buy a CD by a band you've never heard of. You may get lucky. I bought Macy Gray's "On How Life Is" and I really like it.

  • Sign my guestbook. It puts you on my good list. It may even get you off the bad list, depending how bad you were.

  • Buy the Infomercial knives. They rule. I can saw through the head of a claw hammer with this knife and still cut tomatoes!

  • Don't take algorithms unless you really have to. It sucks ass.

  • Date a neighbor. It's a lot of fun and no one has to get out of bed to drive you home. You can also drink yourself shitty just hanging out and not worry about getting home...not that I recommend doing that all the time. But to clarify...only date ONE neighbor.

  • Don't mock me. I'm sensitive.

  • Watch TV at 2am. They show some really dumb movies.

    << [MAIN] >>