All semester I thought it would all work out. Really. I thought "Hey, people fight, people get over it, people live on as better people for it."

Nu-uh...no.

I lived with Kristen for a year and a half and we fought towards the end, but we survived. We may not have been the best of friends at school, but we still talk and stuff, hang once in a while, and care about how the other is doing. I lived with Brian a semester, and I consider it to be one of the best things we did for our friendship other than break up. We learned that we COULDN'T live together, and shouldn't, but we're still good friends, and all is well.

If I never see Roomie From Hell again, it WILL be too soon. I never understood that until now, but now it is all too clear. Fortunately, the only time I will ever have to see her again will probably be in court. Before I explain the on-going problem, let me explain the situation, start to finish.

This actually started last semester, towards the end of my last semester with Kristen, the GOOD roomie. Roomie From Hell (RFH) was a friend of Kris's. Since Kris was graduating, and RFH was looking to move off campus, it seemed like a great deal. I didn't have to hunt for a new roomie, and the person moving in wasn't a total stranger. I asked her if she shot milk out of her eyes and when she said no, it was sold.

RFH got the paperwork from the landlord. My lease was up for renewal, and it was easy to swap out Kris's name for the new roomie, so we did. We signed all the paperwork, and it was done until the last day of the spring semester when she headed home and dropped a few things off at the apartment to store over the summer, since we have the apartment all year long.

She showed up at 7am, and rang the bell. I took care of what she needed done at that god-forsaken hour of morning, and went back to bed. She said she'd be back around noon to drop off the stuff, but for some reason I can't recall she was back again at 9 with some stuff. Fine, fine... I thought. No big deal. She IS trying to go home afterall, and I went back to sleep.

At 11 she showed up with a whole gang of people to begin moving stuff into the apartment. I was exhausted and she didn't need my help, so after I let her in I just shuffled off to bed and told her to lock the door when she left. They banged stuff into walls, dropped big boxes, and generally made it impossible for me to sleep, so I got up. Still not a problem. I was a little annoyed that she kept coming in and out and had refused to just take a key so I had to get up each time, but I was still going with the flow then. I can sleep later.

They finished up without much trouble, and we said goodbye for the summer. I arranged their stuff to where it would be least in the way, since my sister was also leaving stuff there, and we had people coming to the apartment for Kristen's graduation. AND we needed the space for Kris to move out too. It was busy.

The summer breezed by nicely, and I was put into a lovely mood by meeting Dan. The only things that needed to be taken care of over summer were the three months of bills, which I picked up when I visited Binghamton to do some cleaning and chilling out. I divided up the bills and sent them off to RFH a few weeks before school started with a pleasant note with the general "how's your summer" and stuff like that.

Fast forward to the start of school. RFH has sent me a portion of the money, with a note that she'll send the rest soon. We get to school and I tell her how much is left. Wait patiently for a while, and get a check that's $100 short. When I ask she explains that she doesn't think she should be paying cable since she doesn't have a TV.

Pardon me? You couldn't have said that four months ago? No no...you owe me this money. If you had issues with bills you could have said something BEFORE you signed the lease. We worked that out with a simple explanation that since she hadn't said anything BEFORE signing the lease, she couldn't option out expenses just because she didn't bring her TV. It was about a month into school when I finally got the $100 (and the cable was less than $80 besides...how'd she figure that $100 less anyway?), but I did get the money. I let it go with a note to myself to keep good track of the expenses, just in case.

Phone bill shows up. Cable bills, electric, and the rent is always due on the first. I divide it up, and leave it on the kitchen table for her to look at with a note on how much her part is. She has a few questions, I answer them, and she says she'll get the money to me soon.

A week goes by, and I remind her the phone bill is due very soon, and I need the money by tomorrow to get it in on time. She tells me she has to get the check from her father and it will be a week or so. I point out the due date on the bill is a week away, and that's simply too long. I need it TOMORROW. She writes me a check from her checkbook and all is well for a while.

The next month I do the same thing with the bills, and so does she. I get annoyed and tell her that I need the money for the bills BEFORE they're due so I can have the money in my account. We argue, and she promises not to do it again.

Detail details, but she does it again. And again. The entire semester. She's totally irresponsible with money.

That's just the beginning of RFH. The Money Problem. There's also the Slobbishness Problem. She left the bathroom very gross all the time. It was very gross to see the sink full of crud, and the shower full of crud, and stuff like that. I can deal in most cases, I just clean it up once in a while and ask her to some other times when it's too gross for me. It's not like she left used tampons on the toilet seat or anything REALLY nasty, just yucky. The Slobbishness Problem was much smaller than the Money Problem, but when she left me a note that she wanted me to take out the trash because "it's just been sitting there", I snapped.

Sure, I was a irrational. Sure, I over-reacted. But I had been cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen, and doing the vacuuming all semester. I'm not a neat freak, but I'm not a slob. I can live in some clutter, but stanch in the bathroom has to go, as do crispy things in my socks when I walk around the apartment, and spiders in the sink. And I do take out the trash.

My usual garbage routine has two steps. First step: gather garbage and leave bags by the door. Second step: next time you leave the apartment take the garbage to the dumpster. If it smells, I make a special single part trip, but not in the middle of the night, which is usually when I empty the trash.

The night before I had emptied the trash when I found it OVERFLOWING onto the floor in the kitchen. I bundled it up and left it next to the door, for the next person going out to take. Then I went to bed...it was about 1 or 2am.

The next morning I got to sleep in, and when I got up around noon for class I walked into the kitchen and found the "Take out the garbage, it's just been sitting there" note. I got pissed off, and wrote a "I am not your slave or maid. If you had enough time to write a note, you had enough time to take out the trash" note. I did take out the trash, which was still sitting next to the door, even though RFH had left earlier that morning. I wasn't going to leave a bag of trash sitting in my home to spite someone...that's dumb, but I wasn't going to take orders about cleaning up from Slobbish RFH.

She wrote me back a snotty note with "I did it last time" and such, and that was it. I threw down. I gave her the what-for. I pulled out my whoop-ass and we had it OUT. Garbage, bathroom, shower crud, the whole deal was tossed into the ring. It was a fight mostly fueled by frustration, and I know I over-reacted, but after the fight she cleaned the bathroom, and I apologized for overreacting.

But wait, there's more.

There are two more problems. The Food Problem is so insignificant I didn't even mention it to her. It wasn't worth the fighting. RFH ate my food without asking. Not just little stuff...she ate *almost* the whole bag of shredded cheese I was going to use in a dinner I was making and didn't mention it, a whole loaf of bread and other stuff too. It was annoying to go into the fridge and find my dinner stuff eaten, but it was never a big enough deal to fight over.

The other problem was big. The Phone Problem. RFH used the phone a lot and got a LOT of calls. I need to be online quite a bit but I have my cable modem at school, so that's not a problem, but I was constantly taking phone messages. That also wasn't too bad, but I don't answer the phone before noon. If I want to sleep you can talk to the machine. That's just how it is. I check my machine frequently, and sometimes I even screen my calls. That's my right. It's either me or the machine taking messages for RFH, so you'd almost think she'd RATHER the machine take her messages. They never get lost that way.

People would call at odd hours. 3am, then 8am too. 1am, then 6am. They called late at night AND early in the morning. Let me reiterate. I do NOT get out of my bed for the phone. I do not get out of the shower for the phone, or off the toilet to get the phone. It is a convenience I do not wish to be inconvenienced by, therefore I do not allow it to.

RFH is a sound sleeper. She also has trouble waking up in the morning so she has her mommy call her and wake her up EVERY MORNING. Sometimes at 7am, sometimes at 5:30am.

SHE DOES NOT WAKE UP FOR HER WAKE-UP CALLS.

I DO.

The first few times I grabbed the phone in a semi-conscious state and grumbled a "Hello?", thinking it was an emergency, but after a very calm person asked for RFH, I got the picture and asked her to be sure to set her alarm for BEFORE the wake up calls so they don't wake me up too. That didn't happen, but I stopped answering the phone, thinking RFH would have to learn to wake up and I didn't have to be bothered. She missed her wake-up call...poor baby, get an alarm clock. And even if she didn't get the phone, I could hear her ringer from MY room with the door closed so she must hear it.

No no, wrong again Kathy. If RFH doesn't pick up the phone in four rings, the machine gets it. And Wake-Up Caller doesn't leave a message. They HANG UP AND CALL RIGHT BACK.

Ladies and Gentlemen, NEVER DO THAT. It's an UNFORGIVABLE SIN. The machine is there for when we are out or indisposed. Calling right back does not make us more THERE or less indisposed. Talk to the machine, and we'll get back to you. It you think we're there and we didn't get to the phone before the machine, chat up the machine a few minutes with the "I know you're there HEY HEY answer the phone dummy!!" bit...if we don't pick up, you were wrong. Leave a message and suck it up.

But Wake-Up Caller didn't understand that. Wake-Up Caller would hang up on the machine and call back REPEATEDLY until someone answered, usually me with a "Alright already! What?"

But one afternoon I lost it again. Wake-Up Caller had called and hung up on the machine for a week straight, not only for wake-up calls but during the evening as well. I was napping after a long day, trying to make up the sleep I'd been losing waking up to the phone every morning, despite unplugging my phone at night (The kitchen phone is loud, and so is RFH's phone AND the machine is loud), and the phone rang. I ignored it...if it's for me I'll call them back, if it's for RFH they'll just have to leave a message anyway since she's at class.

Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh... Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh... Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh... Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh... Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh... Ring Ring Ring Ring "~~Hi you've reached Kathy and RFH's. We can't ~~CLICK" Whirhwhirhwhirh...

SEVEN TIMES!!!!! In a HALF HOUR!!!!!

Finally I lost it. I ran into the kitchen and picked up the phone "I don't know who the hell you are but you better stop hanging up on the machine and calling right back or you're really going to piss me off!!!! Is this for RFH?"

~CLICK~

Now this person turned out to be RFH's MOTHER, but I could give a shit. Really. Mothers are NOT exempt from common courtesy. In my eyes that makes it all that much worse. I would have felt justified telling off MY mother in that case, but MY mother would never in a million years do that, nor would ANY of my friends, or anyone I've ever met for that matter. I have discussed this at length with just about anyone who would listen to me rant. They all agreed. You don't hang up on a machine and call right back. Not repeatedly. MAYBE once, but NEVER more than that.

I am NOT sorry I told off that mannerless woman. I would do it again.

In fact, I dare any of you to try that stunt and see if I'm any sweeter to YOU, no matter who you are. But don't expect me to NOT get out my bat if I hear that any of my loving loyal readers are doing that to me. I'm talking BLOODLUST over this matter. I would actually *69 (that call back thing) the next person who did that and KEEP calling back until they had heard every word I had to say to them, OR report them to the police as a prank caller, maybe BOTH. Try me. I'm standing by that.

After that I told RFH I wasn't going to answer the phone anymore if I wasn't expecting a call. And If I was expecting a call I might very well screen the calls anyway, so she'd better tell all her friends to leave their messages on the machine when they got it, because if I DID answer the phone I was just going to have them call back and leave a message anyway. And if someone called, hung up and called back, I would take the phone off the hook and leave it as such for half an hour, and they would not get to leave their message at all.

RFH, of course, protested. "You can't do that!" My response?

"Watch me."

I did it too. I screened my calls the rest of the semester, and never was bothered with people hanging up on the machine and calling right back again, not even for wake-up calls. I only had to take the phone off the hook once, and they got the message that I wasn't joking anymore QUICK. I found some peace in what had previously been like the offices of Bell Atlantic.

Of course, RFH hated me passionately, but I hated her too. At least I didn't have to deal with so much shit anymore. I was done. She'd sapped the last ounce of patience in me, and there was no more to come. I can be a very forgiving person...to a point. After that point it takes a lot of groveling to get ANY amount of slack.

The next time a bill came in we had it out again. Total warfare. "I hate you", "I think you're an irresponsible heinous bitch", "You don't care about anyone but yourself", "Why the fuck SHOULD I care about you, you're the most inconsiderate person alive!", and then she let slip that she was graduating and hence moving out.

I was angry just long enough to stick in "Good thing you're on the lease then, because you still pay for rent and utilities." She paled and I stormed off to my room, where I was angry for about a minute before a feeling of inner calm settled on me. "She's moving out. I don't have to deal with this next semester too." I called my friends to share my joyous Zen feeling.

This was about the time of my last entry, when I was still in the "Shouldn't write about RFH in my journal. She might read it and that would make more tension" state of mind.

Now I'm in the FUCK THAT state of mind, because it GETS BETTER!!!!!

The day after she told me she was moving out, I wrote her a polite (Really, it was. I had people check it for me to be sure) letter telling her what I needed before she moved out. Rent and utilities for January, because a new roommate (could one be found) wouldn't move in until the start of February so she was going to HAVE to pay that regardless, and 30 days notice, which it says in the lease I'm entitled to. I told her I needed it by the 17th and I wouldn't start looking for a new roomie until I had her notice. She said "I know, I'll pay, don't worry. I know you won't get someone else to cover these bills."

So I waited. I concentrated on my finals and tried to put the whole mess behind me. I got everything all set to go home on the 17th. On the 16th I took my last final, and did most of my packing, and began to get a bad feeling.

On the 17th I finished my packing, hung with friends a bit, and then when it started getting late I asked her when she was going to be leaving, because I needed to get her key, notice and the rent before she left.

"I don't owe you anything." Turns out she had two beliefs: She could use her deposit as rent, and that since she had paid over the summer for the apartment, she expected a new tenent to pay over winter break.

Golly, you signed the lease in May. That means you pay over the summer. It's not like she did me some favor there, it's an obligation.

By talking to her BOYFRIEND (who knows a lot of lawyers, y'know), she'd come to the conclusion that she could move out and not pay a cent. I knew it was coming, so I was ready for it. I was angry briefly, then I calmed down and said "We're going to discuss this with the landlord. NOW." So we did.

Go figure, I was in the right. We compromised though...she'd give me the check now, and I wouldn't cash it until January 2nd. She tried every way she could to get out of it though. She wanted to give the money directly to the landlord instead of to me, including phone and other bills. She wanted to use her deposit, she wanted to just not pay me. No deal, and the landlord explained that to her.

So I went out a few hours while she packed her stuff with her family. I came back about 7 to finish my packing and load my car. I was done well before her and I waited while she finished. After her family finished packing, her father confronted me. He wanted the phone number for the landlord and he wanted it NOW. I brushed off his rudeness and gave him the number. He argued with the landlord about the lease and such, but in the end the landlord told him the same thing he'd told us. You gotta pay, and if you don't there will be lawyers involved.

l'll get right to my point for how rude her father was, for the simple fact that this is the longest entry I have ever written. I was on the phone, he started butting in. I told him to not speak to me while I was on the phone as I had been polite enough to not speak to him while HE was on the phone. He said "You watch your tone with me, young lady."

I responded with "This is my home and I will take any tone I please with you. Don't pretend to be my father."

They complained about not owing me a cent. I said "Are you aware that the lease is a legal document. They tell you that when you SIGN it...if you don't hold up your end of the bargain, I get a lawyer to make you do so." RFH's father responds with "Oh, I'm much older than you, young lady, and that doesn't frighten me at all." I reply "It's not a matter of who's older. She signed the lease. She's liable for rent."

They were getting ready to leave without giving me the check we'd spent an hour agreeing that they were going to give me, and I said "Look, just give me the check and leave. I have a long drive ahead of me and I'm tired of you people." He said "I've heard THAT tone before. Now where have I heard that tone before....hmmm...Tell me....are you CATHOLIC?"

I was almost blown over by the bigotry. What could that POSSIBLY have to do with any of this? Because I was standing up for myself he felt the need to insult me?

I wasn't insulted by the insinuation that I was Catholic. I technically AM Catholic, and although I practice no religion and don't see it fitting into my life for anything other than neat holidays that I can celebrate with family, I feel religion is a personal choice and if it fits into or completes your life, that's wonderful. It doesn't fit into my life, nor do I feel a need for it. My mother is religious, and finds comfort in prayer and going to church. I respect her beliefs, and I know although she wishes I shared her faith, my lack of faith isn't doesn't cause for her lose respect for me. I was insulted by the idea that my religious beliefs may have any impact on whether or not he owes me a check for the rent, or the respect I did deserve regardless of my age.

All he accomplished by his bigotry was to strengthen my resolve that he was a jerk, and I didn't have to take his shit.

I struggled to control myself. I was so furious I was almost in tears. I turned to him and said "As a matter of fact, I'm not. But I REFUSE to be disrespected in my own home. Please leave."

They gave me a check, and left. I called my mother and let her know what had happened, in tears. I was so furious and frustrated from the evening she didn't want me driving, but I had already packed my car to overflowing, and I wanted badly to be on my way.

The whole ordeal has been stressful, but I'm building up my inner strength for the coming title fight. If there are any lawyers out there with advice, I'd appreciate it. The simple fact is RFH is counting on me letting her screw me out of all this money, and I'm not going to let her. I'm going to throw down, give her the what-for, and we're going to have it OUT.

The difference is that this time, since the law is on my side, I don't need to yell at her to get what I'm owed.